Memo From: Sailor the Dog
To: Dog Parents Everywhere
Topic: Plastic bags don’t mix with business
We know how it is. Or at least YOU’D better. Dogs have to do stuff every once in a while. Silly humans have a lot of sillier euphemisms (hah! you didn’t think a DOG would know that word) for certain bodily functions. “Do Your Business” is one that I hear a lot. Though Mom and Dad would prefer that I “Do My Business” in our own back yard, sometimes, things are just out of my control.
You understand that? Don’t you Dogs?
The thing is whenever I’m NOT in my backyard, Mom or Dad is right behind me with a plastic bag. They make a stupid face and say “Ewww!” while they’re doing it.
Go figure.
If it’s “My Business” what the heck are they doing messing around in “My Business” with a plastic bag. Do you know what they do with it? They PICK IT UP!
Hey, Dummies. Why would I do all of that sniffing and looking, looking and sniffing, to find EXACTLY THE RIGHT PLACE, when you’re gonna PICK IT UP?
Dang, good thing you feed me and walk me, or I wouldn’t have any use for you at all.
Sailor The Dog
Your Boss
